In today’s interconnected world, proper social skills contribute to success in both personal and professional relationships. Not everyone, however, finds it easy to cope with social situations, and poor social skills significantly influence communication, relationships, and self-esteem. Here are seven key signs of bad social skills supported by real-life examples and some insights on how to improve in those areas for better interactions.
1. Inability to initiate or maintain a conversation
Poor social skills are very often characterized by the inability to communicate. The individuals who experience this challenge often dread the initiation of, or the need to sustain, conversations; thus, they may say little or end up sitting silently in groups. They may also make awkward silent pauses or change topics abruptly.
When the parties cannot effectively communicate, relationships break down. In the work environment, like on the job, and in personal lives, talking is part of relationship building and poor conversationalists can’t develop good relations.
Case Study
Think of Mike. He’s really a good designer of graphics but cannot communicate effectively to his clients. During meetings, Mike would not say a thing as he did not know how to put forward his thoughts or even to the deliberations. This made him appear disinterested to clients, and this led to him losing many more opportunities to prove himself creative. He, therefore, discovered that it was actually his bad social skills that were against him. Mike started communication workshops, and through this exercise, he was able to build enough confidence and learn how to articulate his thoughts better. Gradually, he began to have a good relationship with his customers.
2. Failure to read social cues
Failure to read or interpret social cues is yet another glaring indication that one lacks good social skills. Social cues are such things as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These are all critical for context while communicating. Those who lack these cues may miss key body signals and end up over-reacting or jumping to the wrong conclusion over what others have said.
For example, one might not be aware of when another person gets bored, irritated, or uncomfortable and still end up talking about the same topic or dominating a conversation without being self-aware.
3.Interrupting others often
One trait that characterizes people who are not good at social skills is that they tend to have difficulty maintaining the urge to interrupt someone inside of themselves. This is from anxiety or the need to say what is in their mind straightaway. But the act of interrupting often results in feelings of disrespect and not being heard as much by others, which ‘weaken[s] the relationship and lead[s] to frustration’.
Great communicating needs to be patient and a good listener. Interrupting people might mean being careless or dumb and unaware of the right moment to speak.
4. Poor eye contact.
In general, eye contact is essential for effective communication since it enables one to build trust or, at least, give the other impression that one is interested in communicating. A person who cannot maintain eye contact may be perceived as disinterested or even a distraction to others; they can also appear dishonest, thus affecting other people’s perception of the person concerned.
Such people often shy away from the gaze of the other person due to shyness or fear, but this is what creates distance in communication. Inconsistent or absence of consistency as in building rapport is difficult.
5. Lack of Empathy
There is empathy, the capacity to understand and share other people’s feelings. Individuals without the right social skills often seem to lack empathy, making them sometimes insensitive or inappropriate comment-makers. Sometimes, they may be ineffective in relating to the other’s emotions leading to difficulty in giving support or responding properly to emotionally charged situations.
Lack of empathy is very destructive in close relations, especially those where the aspect of emotional support features. Such people may appear to be careless or uncaring, and the relationships likely to suffer badly.
6. Self-centered talking
One of the signs of lousy social skills is that they talk too much about themselves and do not show an interest for the other person. Such people tend to hog conversation and tell stories that project their lives, successes or failures, so on, without worrying to ask questions or put any practice active listening.
This attitude can isolate others since people, in general, like balanced conversations where sharing goes both ways. When one person dominates a discussion, the others feel left out or irritated about the whole matter.
Case Study
Sarah is a team leader in a marketing company. She was characterized by talks about her personal achievements in team meetings. Instead of building collaboration through the way of discourses about her successes, which kept team players feeling defocused and underappreciated, it led to her people slowly disengaging and eventually refusing to participate in meetings or bring ideas. Recognizing this pattern of behavior, Sarah took some time off to visit a communications coach and learned how to skillfully take balance in the way of conversations created by asking questions and actually being curious about what her team thought. This redefined the dynamics of the team since the employees became happier and more productive.
7. Inability to resolve a conflict
Conflict is a part of human interaction, but the way one handles it often signifies socializing. Individuals who have feeble social skills often eject conflict or become combative, while others adopt aggressive postures to express their disagreement. Such reactions only heighten tension and make solutions difficult to be accomplished effectively.
Active listening and patience and an ability to see the other person’s view are indispensable components for resolving conflict. In the absence of these, the mistaken assumptions build up in jarringly cumulative negative feelings, eroding away at the relationship over time.
Social Skills Development
Poor social skills often block relationships. Self-awareness, with practice, can fine-tune it. Here are a few strategies that might help improve social interaction:
- Active Listening Practice active listening-that is, concentrating on the speaker without interrupting. Listening closely shows that you care about the other person’s thoughts and, in general, helps you respond thoughtfully.
- Visual and Auditory Angles Understand body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These are cues that can be important to add meaning that will help you better understand how others feel.
- Good mix of discussion Ask questions and lead others to voice their opinions. A two-way communication tends to create mutual respect as well as interest for both the parties.
- Utilize eye contact Increase the durations you would make eye contact with conversation partners. Start with brief glances at such conversation partners; gradually increase these durations to a few seconds of holding eye contact.
- Bond based on empathy Try to put yourself into other people’s shoes and think of how they feel in any given scenario. This also establishes a deeper emotional bond based on empathy.
- Managing Interruptions If you interrupt a lot, take a breath before you speak and wait for the other person to finish talking so you don’t interrupt them. This shows respect and maintains the flow in the conversation.
- Conflict Management Address any conflict with a calm mind and an open mind. Go through the problem with the other person’s perspective in mind and try to find a solution in partnership with the other rather than trying to “win” a discussion.
Conclusion
The most important thing for any human being to achieve in almost every sphere of life-from personal life to professional life-is social skills. The first step in dealing with the problems of poor social skills is knowing the warning signs: someone who never seems to be able to get a conversation started or fails to make eye contact or overtalks about themselves. With active listening, understanding social cues, and empathy, anyone can be a great communicator.